i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
