So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
