Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize