so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
