You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
