Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
