She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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