Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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