So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
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