He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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