yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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