I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize