You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
