Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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