Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
