My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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