North Korea, Best Korea!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
