proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
