I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
