Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
