I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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