To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
