My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
