I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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