I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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