just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
