I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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