Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
