I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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