i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sorry about my life...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
