$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I supernannyed him into submission
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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