We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My vagina is very pro this idea
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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