oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I wish you could order shots online.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
