I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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