I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
