hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
time to smoke my breakfast
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
