btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
