Whod you bang
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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