With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
