i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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