In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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