I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
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