You just made me feel so damn special
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Your penis caused this!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
