yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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