I skipped work to stalk him.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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