I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
