I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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