If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
