What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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