I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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