Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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