is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
