you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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