I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize