Kiss
Puke
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
